Life Day By Day,  Life Matters


It is the start of another year and time for dreaming. It is good to day-dream and temporarily detach from what is happening around us, the mundane, the routine of life! Dreaming puts us in the shoes of a conductor as we go about orchestrating our life. But is it as simple as dreaming about it?

Dreaming, including day-dreaming can be good for us. As long as we don’t spend too much time day-dreaming and then not do anything productive. Otherwise it becomes maladaptive dreaming – it does not do us any good.

I have been dreaming about how I will live in 2019. My dreaming time is when I think about life, how I am living it now and how I want to live it tomorrow. Dreaming time helps me work out where there is discord and what I can do to create harmony in my life.

Dreaming gives me time to identify my goals. I don’t want to overdo it, that is, set goals that are unachievable. It is okay to stretch ourselves and work towards a longer-term goal that can only be achieved beyond 2019. But for me, the key is to set fewer goals rather than a long list that can become overwhelming.   

Too many goals can create a burden. Be sensible when choosing goals for 2019?

In my last blog I wrote about labels and how do we go about relabelling ourselves? That is, taking off the old labels and creating new ones. It got me thinking about how I can do this when setting my goals for 2019. What labels do I want for myself, what labels do you want?

I came up with a few labels to consider: confident, willing to learn, organised, successful, healthy, disciplined, motivated, courageous, committed, taking responsibility, sociable, self-controlled, creative, optimistic, resilient! Wow, that’s quite a few to contemplate. You may think of more. These labels are the enablers to help us set our goals and sub-goals. How great it is to be in harmony with our self and others and live the best life possible!

Where will you travel this year? Where will you find a Matryoshka Doll?

When I was in my 30’s I recognised that people were continually “trying to find themselves”. I realised that there was no value in this for me as everywhere I went, I took myself with me! It was therefore not about “finding myself” but creating the life I want. I realised it was up to me. I was at university studying for an undergraduate degree. I completed that degree and later two master’s degrees (in different subject areas). It was and still is “up to me” to create the life I want. Even now I am older and no longer in the workforce I can dream, I can dream BIG. In 2019 I am using dreaming as the tool to work out what is important to me.

If you are using dreaming or visioning as a tool for setting goals for 2019, then don’t forget to write them down. Writing these down in a journal and including an action plan is the driver for us to change our lives.

But then, maybe you are completely satisfied with the life you have? If so, let me know and tell me how you did it.

I came across this story. Leo Diaz wanted to turn his life around and wrote about “How I came a better me in a year”. He has some great tips including eliminating the excuses. Have a read here.

All my dreaming so far has led me to call 2019 my “B” year.

First of all, I am going to use all the resources I can find to enable my “B” year. It is my aim to:

  • B goal oriented (this starts with identifying my goals and sub-goals, that is, what steps I need to take to get there, to achieve my goal).
  • B authentic with my goals (it is important I “Be” myself, the real me! Also, that I follow through with my goals after I have written them down. If I am authentic, I am true to myself and my dreams. No need to get these tangled up with what others think my goals should be)!
  • B a reviewer of my goals (review my goals every week and give myself a score! How am I doing out of 1-10)?
  • B healthier (identify what that means for me – regular exercise, what type of exercise? More fruit and vegetables, less red meat and more fish, less wine)?
  • B a better partner (it is always good to reflect on our relationships and how we can live better and in harmony with our partner. Things to consider include: dedicated time together; plan outings together; go on holidays).
  • B a better friend, neighbour (to be a better friend or neighbour the first step is to care for ‘self’. I need to make sure I have “me” time to re-evaluate how I am living and re-charge my batteries. Only then, will I “B” a better friend and neighbour. Of course, there are other ways, such as making time to spend with friends, cooking them a meal, going to the movies together, sharing home grown produce, eggs or just a friendly hello and asking, “are you okay”?).
  • B the person who is the change – I am totally responsible for myself. I can only change myself, I cannot change others. I may influence others but that’s all folks! That’s all I can do and all you can do!

Come on a journey with me in 2019 to see what changes I can bring into my life. As 2019 goes by there will “B” disclosures of how well I am going. I hope I am disciplined enough to achieve my goals; courageous enough to share and then go on to enjoy and celebrate my success!

What will you do in 2019? You could also have a “B” year in 2019. It is an okay place to start.  


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