When you get older is St Valentine’s Day full of the same pizzazz and tradition you experienced when you were younger? When my One & Only (O&O) were younger (a few years ago) we would give cards to one another, maybe even put a stamp on the envelope and send it via the post. Then there were the times we would go out to dinner to celebrate love, to celebrate life. So, what changed? We got older. However, that is only part of the story.
We no longer find enjoyment in busy and noisy restaurants. However, back in the days when we found joy in joining with the throngs of people sitting close in restaurants, I saw an ex work colleague. He and his partner were sitting not far away, and I squeezed amongst the tables to say hello. The restaurant aisles were almost non-existent. The tables were small with very little room. Extra tables were bought in for this special day of the year, St Valentine’s Day. I am sure the lay-out would not have met fire safety standards.
Notwithstanding this, we were happy, after all it is St Valentine’s Day! When my work colleague was leaving (we were not far from the door) he and his partner paused to chat. I was my usually animated self, helped along with a glass or two of wine, when my hand knocked over my wine, spilling it all over the table and onto my white blouse! My ex work colleague said ‘whoops, oh well, we must go’ and they hurried out of the door before anyone pointed to them saying ‘it’s their fault.’
One of my attributes is to keep calm in any situation. No time to panic! I reassured my O&O that all would be fine. Gradually, the panicked look on his face disappeared. The table was cleaned, and I wandered off to the bathroom. Fortunately, it was not a unisex bathroom and therefore I took off my blouse, washed off the wine and dried the blouse with the hand dryer. Now it was time to continue our St Valentine’s Day celebration. Yes, life goes on and these days we prefer to have a home-cooked meal in the comfort of our own home. Roses are picked from the garden.
I do not have a memory problem, but we only remembered it was St Valentine’s Day when we were grocery shopping this morning. There were rows and rows of roses. With the realisation it was St Valentine’s Day we paused and kissed in the aisle of the supermarket. Yes, seniors have to lead the way and set an example to the youngsters! Whatever your age, young, middle aged or a senior we all like to be appreciated and loved. St Valentine, a priest from the 3rd Century was a great believer in love. Read more about the history of St Valentine’s Day on the ‘roses only’ web site.
We can all believe in love, but there are many different ways to show our love. There are also different ways we receive the messages of love from others. Years ago, I read the book ‘The Five Languages of Love – The Secret to Love that Lasts’ by Gary Chapman. The five languages are ‘words of affirmation; quality time; receiving gifts; acts of service and physical touch.’
Understanding a person is to first understand their love language. For some, seniors or younger people, flowers or chocolates will not have the same meaning to a person whose love language is ‘physical touch.’ To someone who has the language of ‘quality time’ they will want to sit, chat and spend time with the person they love. If a person’s love language is ‘receiving gifts’ then that fireside chat will not work quite the same as a bunch of flowers. For others ‘words of affirmation’ that is telling the person how important they are in your life, affirming them as having a place in your life will work. If you have an interest in the 5 languages of love you can borrow the book from your local library or buy one.
For me, roses from the garden, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time with my O&O in the kitchen helping with the dishes, his ‘act of service’ will work for me! Yet, what will work for him? More than likely an ‘act of service.’ Okay, I will do the dishes.